Wake early, break the stillness inside. Let autopilot guide me through the motions of rinsing the pourover, filtering water, brewing, stirring, brewing. Have a bowl of Life and caffeinate. Step outside and take in the vapors. Settle in, list ten-too-many things to do today. Try to journal while a cat paces back and forth across my lap. Maneuver my bike out the door and down the stairs. Pedal, despite my uncertainty, despite the strength that’s missing. Pedal before the asphalt starts to radiate heat, before the morning traffic picks up. Don’t push too hard, save it for the climbs. Check in. Can I go a little farther? Look over my shoulder. Take the lane. Keep moving.